Change and the start of school.

Change is the only constant in life. - Heraclitus 

This quote, often distributed to a more modern author instead of an ancient philosopher, has always been one of my favorite things to reflect upon.

No quote can more accurately describe this period of life, that moment of being a college student, and the slow shift into adulthood. I've realized this quite a bit this last week. I promise there won't be nearly as many posts about change coming soon, but it's been a particularly large part of my life lately.

It's my last week here in DC. One internship turned into two, and now seven months later I'm very ready to come home. This has been one of the most amazing times of my life. I uprooted myself and left within a week of learning that I had received my internship. I was excited, giddy, a tad nervous, and now that I look back, so so young. 

I constantly talk about growth, mainly because I can't believe I'm the same person that I was a year ago, heck I can't believe the person I was in January. And that is a beautiful thing. This is exactly what the period of being a young adult is. Constant change. Even when I thought I was ready for change, I now realize that before I truly wasn't ready.

I've never approached change with so much sheer excitement and acceptance. I put down roots quickly, I like having a home, I'm sure most people can understand that. However, it doesn't mean that I enjoy the change, the force of what is coming next. I would always get a little teary eyed when something was coming to an end, whether it be the end of a semester or leaving my first apartment. 

Now? I'm ready to go home, I'm ready to start this next chapter of my life. I look forward to figuring out what is going to be a very tumultuous period of my life. Not only have I grown here in this city, but I came to become myself, more myself than I'd had the bravery to ever be before. 

Why you may ask?

Because I was alone. In the best sense of that word. No one here knew me, and coming from Wyoming, which we joke is a city with looooong roads that stretch across the whole state. I wasn't my father's daughter, I wasn't the Judge's granddaughter. Even when I went to university, a chance to get away from my small town and be a number, someone knew my other grandfather. 

I love that about home.

But.

Everyone should have the ability to at some point in their life go somewhere where no one knows them. Somewhere where they are living alone. Somewhere where they have to rely on themselves, and truly find out that they have the ability to do anything they put their mind to.   

Because you can. You can tackle the world. I can tackle the world, and I learned that. And now I'm ready to take that new found knowledge and finally, finally accept the change that is coming my way. Because, change truly is the only constant thing in out lives, something mankind has known for thousands of years. 

Lusting after Love

Like I said I was travelling, so here is this weeks post!

As summer starts to wind down, and everyone starts to begin to get started on their final chapter of the year I find myself looking for things I don't need right now. This goes not only for new clothes, and books I doubt I'll have time to finish, but on relationships and love.

I doubt I'm the only one, scratch that I know I'm not. You know something else that tends to happen as summer draws to a close? Engagements, the last batch of summer weddings, and the ending of summer flings. I know some people who are refusing to get on their Facebook with all of the "I said Yes" and newlywed pictures. Others it leaves them longingly looking at the pictures and wondering why their prince/princess has dashed in to rescue them from the dreary monotony of everyday life. Others cut contact with the person that had filled a part of their life for the summer. 

It's okay and it's natural. Summer relationships are supposed to happen, they teach you how quickly everything flies by. And these couples who have finally decided to cement their relationship, is another part of growing into being a twenty-something.

What I've learned is that if you do or don't want it, when you focus on yourself and least expect opportunity to knock on your door, it does. 

I've had too many friends who lust after love, they fill their lives with it, they let themselves be fooled that every Tom, Dick, and Harry is going to be their "one-true-love". Then they become even more let down that it turned out badly. They want love, but they aren't looking for quality love, their looking for immediate love, something Tinder and the other dating apps has fooled our generation into thinking right now is okay until the right person comes along. And it's not.

I'm all for Lusting after love. If the love you're looking for is for yourself. 

I know that sounds weird, but think about it. When was the last time you took a minute for yourself? You didn't care what you're friends were doing, you didn't think about work or homework, and you weren't prepping for time to hang out with that person? I know that I tend to overlook what I need for others. If that means going out for happy hour or watching a TV show I despise. 

Some days you need to love yourself first. It's only afterwards that people can love you. With self love, comes higher standards, and better relationships. Better relationships with friends, significant others, and family members. 

I know that when I hit my, I-don't-care-about-dating, I-just-want-to-go-after-my-dreams-and-take-care-of-me stage is normally when a date comes knocking at my door. People want to be around happy people, they want that person who lights up a room, they want to see someone with passion in their eyes, and one who gives not a care what anyone else thinks of them. The best part about being that person? You get to pick who you want around you. If you've found that you aren't ready for a relationship? Then you can say no. If you find that you don't want to be around the friends who were making you feel darker on the inside? Find a new group of people like yourself. 

So go out there! Find what makes you happy lust after love, just as long as it's the love you give yourself, because at the end of the day that's the only person who matters, you.