Be ready

Hello, I hope everyone has finally moved in and had a great week of classes. 

It's going to be a busy year for me, more so than normal, but I have a feeling that's just part of life and growing up. 

Speaking of growing up, I'm just going to say that it is extremely weird to be back at school. I had three internships, which were probably some of the best experiences in my life. Coming back now for this last year, I think is going to be a hard adjustment, but also a great final hurrah. This year is already bringing me the closure I didn't know I needed. 

Part of growing up is growing out. Out of friendships, out of locations, out of dreams, out of relationships, out of past histories. But that isn't always a bad thing. We growing into things as well. Into new friendships, into our dreams, into our careers, into new cities and countries, into new languages, into new memories, and into the person we are meant to be. 

And we can start this process and then finish it, or leave it to be finished at a later time because we are always in some way or another growing up. We will be growing up into our nineties. However, as humans we need closure. We need to feel that sense of finality before we are capable of moving on, of growing up. The process can be started but until you say goodbye to the life you'd been living, in exchange for the one you want to live, something no matter how small a detail is going to eat at you. 

So this is my closure. My final year. It's already come with some eye opening experiences, some hard lessons, some heart break, and a realization that this is what I needed. I needed to learn that while I love it here, this isn't where I am meant to be for the next phase of my life. 

Part of having dreams, is going after those dreams. I'm ready, ready for life, ready to move on.

I'm ready to follow my heart and its wanderlust, to work in something that makes me happy, to forge new friendships and revisit some old. 

So take everything that life throws at you as a lesson, and learn that this chapter of your life is preparing you for the next. And when your life starts to change all you have to do is be ready. Ready to accept what life is going to do, ready to see what you're up to next, ready to become the person you were always meant to be. 

So as we move into the school year, and into the hubbub of noise and confusion don't let it distract you from what you want in life, and when life comes knocking. Be ready for the next chapter.  

Change and the start of school.

Change is the only constant in life. - Heraclitus 

This quote, often distributed to a more modern author instead of an ancient philosopher, has always been one of my favorite things to reflect upon.

No quote can more accurately describe this period of life, that moment of being a college student, and the slow shift into adulthood. I've realized this quite a bit this last week. I promise there won't be nearly as many posts about change coming soon, but it's been a particularly large part of my life lately.

It's my last week here in DC. One internship turned into two, and now seven months later I'm very ready to come home. This has been one of the most amazing times of my life. I uprooted myself and left within a week of learning that I had received my internship. I was excited, giddy, a tad nervous, and now that I look back, so so young. 

I constantly talk about growth, mainly because I can't believe I'm the same person that I was a year ago, heck I can't believe the person I was in January. And that is a beautiful thing. This is exactly what the period of being a young adult is. Constant change. Even when I thought I was ready for change, I now realize that before I truly wasn't ready.

I've never approached change with so much sheer excitement and acceptance. I put down roots quickly, I like having a home, I'm sure most people can understand that. However, it doesn't mean that I enjoy the change, the force of what is coming next. I would always get a little teary eyed when something was coming to an end, whether it be the end of a semester or leaving my first apartment. 

Now? I'm ready to go home, I'm ready to start this next chapter of my life. I look forward to figuring out what is going to be a very tumultuous period of my life. Not only have I grown here in this city, but I came to become myself, more myself than I'd had the bravery to ever be before. 

Why you may ask?

Because I was alone. In the best sense of that word. No one here knew me, and coming from Wyoming, which we joke is a city with looooong roads that stretch across the whole state. I wasn't my father's daughter, I wasn't the Judge's granddaughter. Even when I went to university, a chance to get away from my small town and be a number, someone knew my other grandfather. 

I love that about home.

But.

Everyone should have the ability to at some point in their life go somewhere where no one knows them. Somewhere where they are living alone. Somewhere where they have to rely on themselves, and truly find out that they have the ability to do anything they put their mind to.   

Because you can. You can tackle the world. I can tackle the world, and I learned that. And now I'm ready to take that new found knowledge and finally, finally accept the change that is coming my way. Because, change truly is the only constant thing in out lives, something mankind has known for thousands of years. 

Lusting after Love

Like I said I was travelling, so here is this weeks post!

As summer starts to wind down, and everyone starts to begin to get started on their final chapter of the year I find myself looking for things I don't need right now. This goes not only for new clothes, and books I doubt I'll have time to finish, but on relationships and love.

I doubt I'm the only one, scratch that I know I'm not. You know something else that tends to happen as summer draws to a close? Engagements, the last batch of summer weddings, and the ending of summer flings. I know some people who are refusing to get on their Facebook with all of the "I said Yes" and newlywed pictures. Others it leaves them longingly looking at the pictures and wondering why their prince/princess has dashed in to rescue them from the dreary monotony of everyday life. Others cut contact with the person that had filled a part of their life for the summer. 

It's okay and it's natural. Summer relationships are supposed to happen, they teach you how quickly everything flies by. And these couples who have finally decided to cement their relationship, is another part of growing into being a twenty-something.

What I've learned is that if you do or don't want it, when you focus on yourself and least expect opportunity to knock on your door, it does. 

I've had too many friends who lust after love, they fill their lives with it, they let themselves be fooled that every Tom, Dick, and Harry is going to be their "one-true-love". Then they become even more let down that it turned out badly. They want love, but they aren't looking for quality love, their looking for immediate love, something Tinder and the other dating apps has fooled our generation into thinking right now is okay until the right person comes along. And it's not.

I'm all for Lusting after love. If the love you're looking for is for yourself. 

I know that sounds weird, but think about it. When was the last time you took a minute for yourself? You didn't care what you're friends were doing, you didn't think about work or homework, and you weren't prepping for time to hang out with that person? I know that I tend to overlook what I need for others. If that means going out for happy hour or watching a TV show I despise. 

Some days you need to love yourself first. It's only afterwards that people can love you. With self love, comes higher standards, and better relationships. Better relationships with friends, significant others, and family members. 

I know that when I hit my, I-don't-care-about-dating, I-just-want-to-go-after-my-dreams-and-take-care-of-me stage is normally when a date comes knocking at my door. People want to be around happy people, they want that person who lights up a room, they want to see someone with passion in their eyes, and one who gives not a care what anyone else thinks of them. The best part about being that person? You get to pick who you want around you. If you've found that you aren't ready for a relationship? Then you can say no. If you find that you don't want to be around the friends who were making you feel darker on the inside? Find a new group of people like yourself. 

So go out there! Find what makes you happy lust after love, just as long as it's the love you give yourself, because at the end of the day that's the only person who matters, you. 

Bookaholic's Backroom: A Light in the Ruins

Okay guys, I'm going to try out something new. Because when I started this blog I had no idea where it was going. I thought I did but in all reality I had no idea where I was going. 

Obviously it's taken a little turn in the last few months, less UW and more introspective. I plan on keeping it like this, even when I go back to Wyoming. I'll be there for a year, and then because I'm growing up and making changes with my life, I'm going to move away. 

Wyoming has been my light, and the large majority of my life. My family, friends, and some of my favorite places in the world are in that state. And if you aren't from Wyoming you should go visit. I am blessed to live in a country that is so incredibly diverse, and it is only a fraction of the world. 

Getting back to the something new. I've come to realize that everyone advocates for a slant on your blog. Well mine is me. And I'm completely unapologetic about it. I'm not just into politics, or fashion, or comics, or books, or travel. I love all of those, and some other crazy things. 

So for now I'm going to try and do it one Friday a month (hopefully the last one!), but I'll bring you something I love, call it Kaite's knick-knacks. This is coming out now because I was busy with events and travelling this weekend. 

So here is my grand reveal of Bookaholic's Backroom, where I'll give recommendation's and review of books I've been reading recently. Over the last month or so I've been reading A Light in the Ruins by Chris Bohjalian

I truly enjoyed this book, a bit outside of my normal tastes and tendencies, the cover drew me in (I try not to let that happen too often) and I'm glad that I decided it needed to come home.

Set during at after WWII in Italy, it follows a family through the struggles of the war and the killer that haunts them ten years later. It made learning about the family as important as possible to the reader, wanting you to uncover their darkest secrets, while leaving you rooting for a happy ending.

I guessed the killer about halfway through, but I blame that on my mother and the copious amounts of CSI and NCIS that I watched growing up. I think my favorite part was even though you time hop, and even hear the killer's thoughts that are ongoing, you still don't find out why, and what the darkest secret they had been hiding until the end.

I certainly couldn't put it down for long, and I would recommend this good read. It's fairly quick but that made it even better for me.

Overall I'll give it a B+ because while the family is the center of the story, the main character, the detective, isn't as real to me as the rest of the characters even though I really liked her. Also because I guessed the killer.

Let me know how you like it!

Investing in Yourself

So, no one more than me was surprised when I actually took my advice in the last post and became more productive. Which naturally kept me away from posting, because I was busy. I'm working on a good middle ground, and I've figured a lot out. Naturally, this weekend was the exception to having a better busy, but I think we all need those weekends where we make interesting life choices, and then veg out. 

I'm not one who likes to buy myself things, or spend a lot of time on me. I love people, and as such I love to be around people. I love hosting get-togethers, going out, and just being near others. But at some point we all need down time, we all need to treat ourselves. I like to think of it as investing in yourself.

Now there are many ways to invest in yourself, and every time I take some me-time it's different. One of the last times I made tea and had cookies and listened to Sinatra while I wrote. Every day I like to find 5-10 minutes of thing that will make your soul a little happier. I invest in myself that way because I will then handle life better. 

This weekend I spent five hours on the phone with my best friend. I don't know about you but having a good long talk with one of your closest friends always makes me feel better, I just don't have the luxury of living in the same town as her so we often go a month before we realize we haven't actually talked. 

I also splurged, now with an intern salary I've learned to budget fairly well. Especially when you have trips planned (say for spring break?) and want to save some of the cash, limiting your intake even more. However, I'm a sucker for a good deal. I'm even more of a sucker for a great deal on quality items. Don't get me wrong Ross and T.J.Max are normally my jam. But getting something that is just so classic and so well made that you know it will last for easily the next 7-10 years? I look at that as an investment, because truly it is.

So I'll just put a small PSA to the world, J.Crew is having the best sale I've been to yet. Now I didn't grow up on J.Crew, and I certainly didn't grow up on Kate Spade, but I've grown into them when the time (and more importantly price) is right.  To me it is an investment. 

So I had bonding time with my roommate, we did nails and a mask last night. I read a large portion of a book I've been working on. I talked on the phone with my best friend. And I bought two skirts I fell in love with. 

What did that give me? I mean besides a cute outfit to come to work in today, I was excited for work. I was excited to be productive and accomplish things. And I know that this will carry over for my whole week, and the next month is going to be kinda crazy busy for me and then I start one of the busiest semester of my college career. 

So if you're ever a little run down, a little frustrated, or you just feel like you don't want to do anything. Invest in yourself. Listen to what you're body is saying. Listen to the signs the universe is putting out for you, and remember you have to put something in to get something out, and that counts with you as well. So invest a little and see where life takes you. 

A Better Busy

I don't know about you but anymore it seems like I'm always busy. Even when I'm not actually busy, I keep myself busy. Don't you?

It wasn't until recently, when I gained a little more time than I'm. Actually a lot more time than I'm used to. Taking internships in college is great, but it made me realize that when you don't have classes and homework you gain a whole lot more time. Now what do you do during that time? 

For a while it was the usual that I'd keep myself busy with when I had a some spare time. Get on Pinterest, Tumblr, watch Netflix, read a book. For a bit I was able to do some of my hobbies I'd been to busy to give any time to in the last year or so. I tried drawing and writing, but that didn't last long. I didn't seem to have the attention span for it to last that long.

It wasn't until recently when I had an exceptional amount of time that I realized I couldn't be doing that anymore. I realized that I wasn't getting anything out of my distractions, because that's what they were, distractions. I wasn't actually doing anything of worth. And honestly? When I have a spare minute whether in college or now over the summer I find my self reaching for my phone, reaching for a distraction. Why? I'm spending the summer in one of the most amazing cities in America and normally I live in a place I love surrounded by friends. And its not just me, my roommates, other interns, and friends. Everyone seems to constantly be on their phone, but I know as well as the next person that it's probably just buzzfeed. 

I know that other people have gone unplugged for a week and it's a great destresser, but with work that's not exactly possible. I also don't feel like I'm ready for that step, maybe later this summer or over Christmas break. So instead I'm challenging myself, and if you want to join me, you're more than welcome. 

This week when I have spare time I want to have a better busy. I want to be productive with my time. For me this means studying for my GRE, updating my resume, working on my cover letter, and more. For you this may mean something different but I'm going to try and quit distracting myself and actually be busy, with things I care about. Don't let yourself fall into the lethargy that I feel like consumed me recently. 

Have any of you felt like this recently? Or taken steps to stop it? 

Persistently Patient

I don't think anything tries your patience more than big life events. 

I was in a friends wedding this last weekend, which just highlighted this fact to me. 

I went a few days early to help her out and make sure that everything was done. Nothing seems to bring the stress out as much as making sure all the little details you've been planning for months that always seem to fall apart at the last minute. Sure enough some things didn't go according to plan, but largely they did. The wedding happened, the reception went off with a bang (and out with a sparkle!). It was a huge success and now they are enjoying time as a newly wed couple on their honeymoon. 

This just shows you no matter what: it will happen, time will continue, and life will go on.

Now I am by no means the picture of patience. I come with a strong predisposition towards loosing my cool. Which means that it is something that I have had to work on. Two years ago, getting my connecting flight this weekend cancelled on me would have seemed like the end of the world. I didn't end up making it back to Colorado until the next day. And the kids who couldn't stop screaming next to me on my red-eye? On a flight we had been delayed because someone called in sick? I would have been frustrated, livid even. I would have thought it was going to be the worst day. Especially since I was heading straight into work.

But did it? No. 

Do you want to know my trick that I've realized? It doesn't help to get upset about things you can't fix. It's extremely draining actually. Those kids who were crying? They were up at 3 am, and the little one couldn't get his ears to pop. The crewman who called in sick? I've woken up sick before, and I don't want that spread around a plane. These were things I couldn't help. So why should I waste my time worrying about them?

Now will I be able to keep my cool on my wedding day? I highly doubt it. I still get overwhelmed, but I'm better now than I used to be and I just want to continue that. So for now? I was the calm person helping out my friend out with on her wedding day. Especially when an extra person showed up for dinner, her younger brother was loud and annoying, and when the day before the groom still hadn't decided who was going to be his best man. At the end however, everything was beautiful and it all ended up going smoothly.

Persistently Patient. 

It's my mantra, something I've tried to be better at. Especially when I became an aunt at a very young age. I sometimes would loose my cool, and you never want it to happen it's just the final straw some days. But if you let these things get to you it will seep into all aspects of your life. And you don't want to lash out at those you love. I can tell you that I am so much happier now. It's done wonders for my anxiety, so for all the perfectionists out there. Just remember to breathe and don't sweat the stuff you can't change. 

The Unreasonable Man

When was the last time that you were doing something, for me it was reading, and came across one of the best quotes you've seen in a while? 

For me it was Thursday. Want to know what it was? 

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." George Bernard Shaw

I love that quote, I love what's behind it. 

Now I spend plenty of time on Pinterest and one of my favorite things is to find great quotes, but I always feel like its much more special when the quote finds you. Because then naturally you go looking for what was behind that quote, where it came from. It sparks your curiosity, and curiosity sparks creativity. 

Now I know not everyone thinks they are creative, but you are. Could you imagine what would happen if people didn't write? Or draw? Or sing? Or talk? Yes, even the smallest conversation is creative. You can't survive on small talk alone, and sometimes big dreams come out when you talk. Which is I think why I love this quote. 

Who in their right mind would try to adapt the world to themselves? Well the answer is simple, the human race. 

Sometimes I will admit we go to far, but this is what we are put here to do, live our passion. Now if that means that you come up with the cure for cancer, become the next Renoir, the President one day, or if you write a story that has never been told, start teaching in a way no one else has ever though of, change the face of healthcare, change how cars are built, want to know what I have to say? Do it. 

Someone had to be the first Socrates, the first Renoir, someone did it first. That can be you. 

I'm in DC because I love policy something fierce and I want to change things for the better. Is it realistic to think that I'm going to do it? No. Does that stop me from following my dreams? No.

So go out, let things inspire you, let it push you further on the path of following you passions. But most importantly remember that you can be the unreasonable man. 

Turning Twenty-one

Last month I ended one internship, started another, moved apartments, joined a softball team, and probably what was one of the biggest things for me, I turned 21. 

Now I know that to all those over age, look back on it and realize that it looks a lot bigger on the other side. I disagree. I think it looks equally big as I have passed it and now as I am have my twenty-first year on earth. 

Why? Because even though this means you are legally an adult and legal to drink it means so much more. It's the official end of childhood and moving past the stage where people give you slack, and into the years when you are free to do what you want. This is the time that we really become who we are. I couldn't wait to turn twenty-one, namely because I was the youngest of all my friends to turn, and I couldn't wait to be able to have my social hour with them back. Being able to order a glass of wine is nice too, but not as nice as to finally have the ability to do anything I want. 

I mean that truly. As we grow up we get scared and nervous, but most of all excited. I don't ever want to regret getting older. I want to know that I've done the things I loved and I am pursuing those still. My parents, free of children at home are jet-setting all over the world. My friends are marrying the loves of their lives. My younger brother is living on his own for the first time. My best friend is taking the last summer we have as college students to spend time with his family and enjoy life.

So I know that most people look at the twenty-first birthday as the beginning of the end. It's not. It is simply another beginning another chapter, and it comes with struggles and happiness and heartache and laughter and tears. And I can't wait. 

So here's to being young and having the world at your feet, no matter what age you are.

 I'll even include some pictures from how I celebrated my big 2-1, because sometimes the reason it's a classic, is because it's perfect. Vegas truly was a great trip that I'll never forget. 

If you can go to Madam Tussaud's it was so much fun posing and seeing how tall the 'stars' really are!

Whatever you do be safe on your 21st, but remember to have fun.

 You don't turn of age everyday!

Productivity and procrastination

My parents, and every roommate I've ever lived with will attest that I am one of the largest procrastinators they have ever met. I am notorious for leaving things to last minute, however one of the things that I have learned over the years is to be productive. 

I know that this sounds crazy, but hear me out. In college we learn to do the most amount of work in the shortest time possible. This is being productive, those late nights where you buckle down and do it? Productivity.

Everything we do, all of our actions, they become our habits. Therefore I try to do the same thing everyday that is going to help me be more productive. For me it means making the bed. What? That's going to help you with your homework? Yep. Cleaning the house, making dinner, making your bed? Those are all productive things, and if you remember way back in middle school objects in motion tend to stay in motion. This holds true for habits, and actions, and productivity. If you are productive, you tend to stay productive. 

For me the difference between my procrastination, and what other people often think of is the fact that I ultimately am a productive person. This isn't something that's come naturally, but I've become cognizant of this and have tried to change my natural habits. 

The things we want? We have to fight for, and make a conscious effort to go after. So go ahead, watch one more episode of Game of Thrones, I'm not going to judge you, just make sure that you'll be responsible and productive with the time you're given. And remember it can all start with making your bed every morning. 

Things come in threes ~ Finding the good

Have you ever noticed that things come in threes?

It's an old wives tale, that in my small town back home seems to hold true to.

However, it's not just the old ladies who see it, I've seen in with everything in my life, or almost everything. Recently I had three groups of three bad things that happened in my life. Deaths, illnesses, health scares, you name it. I was sitting at eight for about a week and was getting pretty antsy. I didn't think I could handle more bad news, more loss, more sorrow. 

Something I think we forget is that it isn't just bad things that happen in threes. Good things can come in threes too. I believe that you will never just get the bad, all bad has to come with some good. You just have to find it, and in some cases that literally means you have to make the choice. I was tested this week, I had to make a choice I almost made myself sick over it, and that was completely unnecessary. Try as I might, those moments when I think that I'm chilling out and a becoming laid back human who lets life take me where it wants to? Yeah, well throw a decision in there and I'm right back to high anxiety Kaite. 

You have to choose the good, choose happiness, whether that means a job offer you've wanted or basking in a sunny day after rain. Go out there and choose to find the good. I did and obviously it was a step in the right direction because the universe threw two more things back at me, good things mind you. I have a summer internship in the field I love, I have a place to stay (and a friend from home as a roommate), and I won the student government position for the next school year that I'd been campaigning for. 

I'm excited and now that my life has settled a little, I'm trying to figure out what is going to happen next. Because life is never smooth sailing, it has highs and lows, and that to me is the beautiful thing. Tragedy really does make the good things seem that much better. 

Another thing this has taught me? You have to actively pursue what you want. I don't know if everything would have worked out if I hadn't taken that first step, that first decision. Everything happens for a reason, and we don't always get to know why. 

So my PSA for the day? Go find the good. Find it and when you find something you want, go after it. Life has a funny way of paying you back for things like that. 

Fake it, Till you make it

We've all been there. Start of something new, and with the new comes the unknown. With the unknown comes confusion, and often frustration. 

I can't tell you how frustrated I get when hooking up a new printer, or when you look at the excel spread sheet for making a new budget. 

This doesn't always have to be the case. At this point in our lives we are constantly in a state of flux. The only thing guaranteed in life is change, and when that change leads us to a new job or internship, fake it till you make it. Seriously, we aren't going to learn everything overnight or know what is going on, but if you are confident in yourself everything seems to fall into place. 

Take a breath and move forward. 

A few days ago I got a phone call from the front asking me if I was comfortable giving a tour of the Capitol. I received tour training yesterday. Meaning while I knew the way around, it didn't mean I knew all the dates, names, and stories that make up the tour.

I gave the tour and had a wonderful time. Turns out even if I didn't know every date, every name, I still knew a lot more than I thought I did and what I didn't know I was honest and they were totally okay with that.

This is an important lesson I've learned a few times, but recent I was reminded. It's okay if you don't know everything, but if you try you are going to get so much farther than you'd believe. People give more chances to those who try, to those who actually go out of their way to try to do better. Want to wow those around you? Go out of your comfort zone and say yes too early, make mistakes but learn from them and you will do better so much faster than you believed possible.

My piece of advice today?
Fake it, till you make it.


Has this ever happened to you guys? Let me know!

Getting swept away

Have you ever been swept away? 

Swept away in the moment, in life, in pursuing your dreams, on an adventure, a trip, anything? 

Because if not, I highly recommend doing it. At least once in your life. Or daily. 

I'm not going to apologize for the strange long term absence. Because lordy, it's been a while.  And I won't apologize, because sometimes getting swept up in life is worth missing out on the norm, worth just trying to live. 

However, I would love to share what I've been doing. 

In January, I took an Internship with the Wyoming State Legislature. It was a brand new internship program that I ran the pilot program for, and it was fantastic, and the only reason it happened is because I was pushed past my comfort level. 

I will say the best piece of advice I can give you right now is don't say no. If someone tells you to apply for an internship, a fellowship, a program. Just do it. The worst is that they tell you no, you have to keep living like you are now. The best? They take you. 

That's what happened to me, and I spent two wonderful months being the policy research intern for the Labor, Health, and Social Services Committee. Now I know that policy isn't everyone's cup of tea, and out in our neck of the woods it isn't exactly common, but I think that's the point I'm getting at. Even if your passion, the thing that drives you isn't common or isn't easy to find way to get experience in, keep looking. Talk to a professor, your adviser, or the department that it would relate to, because they love love love to help students get involved.

Here I am above, with the State Capitol behind me, sorry its a little fuzzy!

When the legislature finished, so did my school load (I may have my final project that I still have to work on... sshh!) and I wasn't sure what the next step was for me. That moment when we were wrapping up, I was tipped off to a position that was open that might need an intern. So I applied, and ended up getting the position.

Within one week I had a flight booked, within two I had flown out. That is how fast life happens, within a day of the idea I had an interview, and less than a week later I was offered the position. Now I'm sitting here writing this post from my apartment which is down the street from the Library of Congress, which is a few buildings up Senator Enzi's office, where I'm working.

It's been just about three months since I found out I was interning in Cheyenne, and now I'm in DC just in time for the Cherry Blossom festival, which has always been on my bucket list. So please, please, get swept away. Get caught up in life, say yes to crazy offers, and follow your heart. Whether it's flying halfway across the country, or going on a walk across town with a friend to find new hideaways you've never seen before, just let life guide you.